wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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