I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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