look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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