I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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