Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
