I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
