I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
