i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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