Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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