Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
