he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
