I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
