We won't sleep together?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
