So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize