Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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