There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
