WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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