Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well you can't waste a boner
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
