Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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