even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
