he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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