There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
