I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
