Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
