you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
