what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
