How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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