Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This baby is an asshole
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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