i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
