she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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