I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
