Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
