i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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