Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
