Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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