My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
