What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
