I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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