Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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