I bet he comes in French.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
