There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
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I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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