pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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