oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
