the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize