I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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