areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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