I'm going to jail i love you
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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