I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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