how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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