Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
