Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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