i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize