Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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