I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
