i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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