I'm lost and stupid without you.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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