Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
