he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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