New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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