I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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