Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
