fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
