Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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