Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
